Now, I would gladly appreciate if you kept this section untouched. We all like honest people now, don't we.
layout tm / dd
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I'll Never Understand "Happiness"
9:19 AM
Someone whom, I love so much yet I cant say it out loud,
Someone whom, I Trust so much yet I cant feel secure,
Someone whom, I Care so much yet I cant feel love,
Someone whom, I gave needs to yet I don't fulfill enough,
Hurt me straight to my heart...
Randy
It Just Not Mine, Never Will Be Mine...
9:00 AM
So long never update my blog.
Recently, things just happen the way it is, I can't even control the decision.
Lose everything overnight, nothing left on me.
Back to basic, simple life...
Not to be scare saying this to "myself" others can leave independently, why not you?!
Just not used to it maybe...
I don't what I did was wrong.
I help whenever I can, when you all need help.
I give whatever I can, when you all are in need.
I tried to cater to you all.
I do what you all likes.
I changed for the benefit.
I did what I don't used to.
I did all this willingly, never ask for return.
But ask myself a lot of times, do i deserve this treatment...
Without breathing a word from you all,
I got outcast to nowhere...
You all might say I am the one,
yes, I dare not go near you all,
its scare me.
But the fact is I keep trying to get back a few times,
yet in the end, I'm just hurting myself more...
The more I get near, I cut myself more...
Erm I'm speechless against those who once I treated them like kings and queens.
Let just end all this here, keep those good memories will do before things get ugly...
Randy
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Please Understand
11:31 PM
The first time, in the year 2009 I felt piss, angry & vent my anger on someone...
Why ?
First, I got wake by my phone very early in the morning,
was from the school, informing me to spread the message to the class,
telling them to go the school portal and do the E-learning thing...
(seriously, i cant be bother at that time cos i am really tired,
so i ignore and continue to sleep)
Second, I woke up later at 12noon sharp...
I wash up myself and went online,
I typed, copied & paste into everybody in my class that is online !
"Did you all receive sms from ZALINA, about the E-learning thingy"
Everyone i copied to, replied "NO" !
They became paranoid keep spamming my msn...
"What is it about"
"HUH"
"What That"
"Why Must Do"
and it goes on...
Then I thought it wound be nice if i forward them the msg,
so I did ! I sent 21 smses !
Nobody reply...
(then why acted like you care so much at first)
I sent the second time, another 21 smses !
(Somebody replied, but piss me off...)
I am going to say it all out here,
love or hate me your choice...
Elizabeth: How and Where ?
Me: I've no idea.. Maybe you try to log in school portal...
Elizabeth: Nothing there. Oh, so nobody know at all la ?
Me: http://www.nyp.edu.sg/SDN/SID.html
Fuck it la bitch, nobody know then how come u know ?
isn't me the one who sms u !
Stupid brainless idiotic muffin !!
Go feed some shit onto ur fucking pussy mouth !
Why am I so pissed because I know nothing,
I know equally as much as you all !!!
I was told to spread it out to you all,
but does not mean I know everything !!!
I am not calculative person,
but at least when I smsed you all reply la...
Because when you don't reply I don't know if you noted about it a not...
Just imaging you are being told to do so, how you feel ?
By the way, sorry aklili,
the way i replied your sms was a little rude i guess...
but guess if you read this post you will understand...
Randy
Fuck off
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Why ? Why ! Why ^^
7:21 AM
Why wanna lie to me ?
Why can't just tell me the truth ?
Why can't just admit to me ?
Why hide it from me ?
Why can't just let me know ?
Why don't you'll tell me the truth ?
Why can't just make things easier ?
Why wanna make things hard for me ?
Why can't ?
Why not ?
Why ?
WHY ?
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Spin Me Right Round...
9:49 AM
The earth is known good for the best environment for human to live in,
we also know the earth spin in a rotationally, it takes a year to complete one round...
Humans are known best for their 5 senses,
Touch, sense, taste, sight & sound.
But never do I know they changes the character so fast even without me noticing...
Even the earth have to take a year to turn one round...
I will let you go this time, never will force you to stay with me,
of course I do feel sad but we are leading different life...
I know at times, I acted a little idiotic but at the very least that how i acted in front of everybody, as for you, you acted differently in front of everybody whenever you are with me...
It seem to me that you wanna revenge on me to make me feel hurt...
I don't know how to explain what I am trying to express,
but for now let me be who I wanna be...
As for you I'll let you go and you lead your own life...
I can only say it was you the other way round,
that brought me with high hope and you drop me down,
and I injure from the fall...
I alway thought I've you by my side but I was wrong...
Anyway, take care...
Randy
Monday, June 22, 2009
I Needed Me
10:59 PM
Sometime I felt that human are very fragile... A little mistake could bring the whole world down, I'm questioning myself why too toward this question... I getting sick and tired of entertaining or be entertained, it seem so pointless in doing them when they don't bring you any good, I'm not asking for any materialistic goodness but at the very least some basic manner treatment, it far more then enough... Recently, lots of things going through me, be it in physical, mentally and etc... I think it should come to an end for now, I had done my part, I know, so I really don't care what other wanna do or feel... Just one mistake and you giving me this attitude ! I have only a pairs of hand, how much can I entertain ?! If, hate me then go ahead, don't even bother to show it to me by doing some physical actions to yourself nor me, as it hurt not only just me but you yourself... I think my words are clear, thanks for being my friends I will never forget I once enjoyed with you... So hope you do feel the same... Fuckers ! Randy
Do I ?
9:54 AM
I cried a tear: you wiped it dry. I was confused: you cleared my mind. I sold my soul: you bought it back for me. And held me up and gave me dignity, Somehow you needed me. You gave me strength to stand alone again, To face the world out on my own again. You put me high upon a pedestal, So high that I could almost see eternity, You needed me. You needed me.
And I can't believe it's you, I can't believe it's true: I needed you and you were there. And I'll never leave: Why should I leave? I'd be a fool. 'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares.
You held my hand when it was cold. When I was lost, you took me home. You gave me hope when I was at the end. And turned my lies back into truth again: You even called me friend.
You gave me strength to stand alone again, To face the world out on my own again. You put me high upon a pedestal, So high that I could almost see eternity, You needed me. You needed me.
